After midnight..

After midnight is the time i most fear the most but love at the same time. I fear it for many reasons, and mostly because i'd usually get anxious, depressed and get extreme mood swings. I'd sometimes start my day perfectly fine but then turn into a depressed self-hating fluff of mess a while later. Its not something i can control very easily, like everyone said i can. I know myself better than you, you can't tell me what i can and cannot. I still love after midnight since my mind starts functioning in a better way (in my opinion) and i can do whatever i want, alone, all by myself. I strongly feel like things that don't make sense in the morning, will somehow make sense after midnight. But i kind of believe that anything can be done, in a better way at that time. I don't like sleeping, i only do it because i have to and when i do, i don't do it much. Its just some of these things that i feel like are a waste of time but are important so it must be done, even for a little while. This might seem like total nonsense, but it makes perfect sense to me.