Day 8.

Stop crying
I keep telling myself
Say your words
I tell myself

They're right there
If they leave
Your tears won't
I'm telling myself

They left
And now
I'm begging my tears
To stop falling

Day 7.

The one you love
You've killed
Without a gun
Or a knife
Without anything
Sharp

The one you love
Stopped living
You've killed
Without your own
Bare hands

The one you love
Died

The one you loved
Was killed
By your words
It's all it took

Words
You loved who
They killed

Day 6. What I'm scared of.

They told me to dream and work hard to make my dreams come true. Now that my dreams are almost coming true, they told me about boundaries.. They changed their mind, too. They don't want me to dream big, work for my dreams and enjoy that. "You're overdoing it" they say. They want me to succeed in what they believe is greatness. Being a mother of 5, working as a teacher. Nothing of what I had in mind. Not what I want.
I don't like that. I'm striving for my own type of greatness, not theirs.
It's not fair.

Day 5.

I like..
Smiley eyes
Neat nails
Bleeding lips
Short bangs
Big glasses
Good words
Productive talks
Steaming hot tea
Weak coffee
Small purses
Candles
Finishing books
Sneakers
Early morning
Skype calls
Speaking
My family
Asian food
Chopsticks
Taiwan
Broccoli
Earrings
Boxing gloves
Weights
Thinking, sometimes
Cold water
Blankets
Not whispers
Not chocolate
Not you.

Day 4. Rambles.

Sometimes, we should just allow sadness and anxiety be. Holding them back never did any good.

It's just the end of the day, that you start to lose your sanity and become mad and broken, for no reason you're able to recall. "Deal with it," they say.. are they kidding? You lose control over yourself, almost completely and they're asking you to "deal" with it?

Thoughts keep getting louder and louder with a side effect of a gallon of tears streaming down your face. It's all just too much, you think. It just gets a little too much, sometimes. You may make it through the night, maybe you'll stay this way. Eventually, it fades and you go back to worrying when will it happen next. No comfort life.

Day 3.

It took 5 heartbeats

She walked by him
Met his eyes
One beat

She lowered her gaze
Noticed his knuckle scars
One beat

Looked back up
Saw him looking at her
A beat skipped

Unconsciously
Covered her wrist scars
One beat

Suddenly
He said
What's wrong?

Two beats at a time
And she was lost
Maybe in him
Maybe his kindness

Maybe
Just
Lost

Day 2. - A thing.

Do you know what deadly beauty is?
It's the way he saw her. It's the way he saw her flaws but thought she was the most beautiful thing on earth. It's how her smile kept him up all night. It's how the thought of her never left his mind and thinking about something else felt like a sin. It's how it made him the happiest person alive running into her. It's risking his life in order for her happiness. That's deadly beauty.

Day 1 - A poem.

Do you ever just
Go around
Wish you're somewhere else
Looking at better things
And then it hits you
How much good
You're surrounded with

Do you ever just
Take a moment
To let it all sync in
You're breathing
You can see
You can move
And you're currently
Overwhelmed

Do you ever just
Cry for no apparent reason
Maybe because of
Your denied sadness
Maybe because you
Are just too happy
Maybe because
You can't control it
So you just
Let it out

- S.Y.B