When I was a little girl, my dreams weren't as simple as other kids my age.. they were detailed and complicated and too detailed and complicated for my own good, at certain times.
At the age of five, my only dream was to be a serial killer.. and that was my dream ever since. Day by day, my imagination got wider and my dreams became more and more vivid to the point where whenever I see people; I would imagine ways to torture them to death.
At the age of eight, after training my imagination further, I made my first detailed killing plan and a few week later, I tried it. On my neighbors cat, that was. Everyone around was confused since there were no evidence left behind. Just an annoying cat spread on a wooden bench in their backyard with all her intestines thrown around her like haze drops on a tree leaf while her heart is placed in a jar right next to her. On the jar, "Rest in peace, beautiful cat." was written.
I used to spend most of my days asleep during mornings and wide awake during nights, brainstorming for killing plans and choosing people to operate these plans on but there was this one person I couldn't bring myself to imagine being tortured by me. It seemed very odd since with everyone else, planning was a piece of cake but with him, It was almost impossible.
Three days before I turned eleven, I was asked about my dreams and I only said the truth and told them I want to torture and murder 15 creatures by the age of 20. I've never told anyone this before. Next thing I know, I'm laying on a comfortable chair with a lady that asked me all sorts of questions and I saw there was no reason to lie so all that came to my mind, I said. Only then did I realize that what I thought about or wanted was not normal nor common and that, was the worst moment of my life.
It wasn't until a couple of weeks after I turned eleven that I left the mental hospital and came back to my house. My mother rushed to get into my room which was an order from my psychologist since they wanted to make sure everything was suitable for me now because I was considered "sick". They also ordered her to keep an eye on me at all times and at first it was frustrating but after a few days, everything was back to how it once was.
One afternoon while everyone was taking their nap; I wanted to let out this idea out of my head which was the idea of torturing but not to the point of death so with that in mind; I got a whip we used for our old horse and snuck to my little sisters room knowing that she sleeps on her stomach, covered her head with a pillow until she went unconscious and started whipping her so hard until I felt a fiber of pity towards her. Five minutes later I returned the whip to where it was and went back to my room as if nothing happened. I dozed off the moment I closed my eyes while laying on my bed and suddenly woke up to the sound of my crying sister and shouting parents. I guess my parents didn't think I'd dare to do such thing so that's why they didn't even ask me about my sisters back bruises. A little did they know, they brought a killer to life.
4 months later was when things got a bit more aggressive and thats when I started watching crime reality shows, learning more ways to torture be it to the point of death or not and making more and more killing plans. There was this kid in my neighborhood that I despited the most since he was always aggressive towards me which is why I decided he should be the first one to go. A week has passed yet he was nowhere to be found and whenever I wait for him to get out of his house or even school, he just won't appear. A day later I overheard my parents saying that he just got discharged from the hospital after being admitted to the hospital because of scarlet fever so I decided to change my plan a bit. To use the fever as an excuse for his death. Without a very proper and detailed plan, I would easily be caught but that wasn't how I did it. I don't leave a single clue and people around me tend to overlook the fact that I wanted and still do want to hurt and kill fifteen creatures.
It took me 2 entire months to re-plan and perfect it and a few days later came the day I was supposed to operate my plan. Supposed to. The day I lost it all.. I woke up very early after sleeping for about an hour, went over my plan, made some final touches and had my breakfast like any other school day. Well at least thats what I wanted it to look like, so after having my breakfast I told my parents I'm leaving early to study for an exam I have and without hesitating they let me go. My plan was to hide somewhere near the schools gate that made me hardly noticeable and wait for my victim but that changed right after I saw that one person I had no intention on killing. Then without realizing so I was crossing the road to get to him and my distraction was so big, I didn't notice a car approaching until It was an inch away which was pretty much too late.
I woke up, barely seeing anything, panicked and feeling pain everywhere while bright lights hit my eyes straight. Opening up my eyes seemed very tough so I ended up closing them and dosing off. A few minutes maybe hours maybe days later I woke up to the sound a very calm-sounding nurse speaking to someone, someone that sounded like my mother. I tried saying something, anything that would catch their attention but there was no use and In that moment, I felt very different and small. Unable to do anything with this tired, aching body. A few tries to speak and the room I was in was filled with cries and loud voices coming from people that sounded very familiar. I recognized my mothers voice, my sisters and my fathers while the rest sounded sounded a bit foreign, like I haven't heard them before very often.
A nurse rushed to me and somewhat shouted "You're awake!!". Well, obviously, yes, I wanted to say but that seemed too tough and I wasn't sure if the effort was worth it. Tubes helping me breathe, other tubes getting the nutrition my body needs in me and one that helps me urinate, I wanted to pull all of them out without even thinking twice.
Everyday I would manage remembering details and moving a part of my body, be it a finger or even my arm. Since Im fully aware of my surroundings now, my nurses talk to me very often and tell me things about myself. One day, a really nice nurse told me that it's very rare for people to wake up from comas after a few years with the help of speaking and that was my case. I panicked when I heard her say that and without wanting to, I started crying. Hell, I started weeping. What did I get myself Into? Why is this happening? A few years? How old am I??
I've been told my age and everything that people know about me but who am I, really? That's something no one dared to tell me.
Why so?
