Myself? Who's that?

I admit that i don't know myself as much as i need to.

I constantly confuse myself so i can't blame people when they describe me as confusing.

I'm not sane yet I'm not exactly insane. I'm that thing right in the middle.

I'm not mature yet I'm not childish. I have my times.

I can't make mind up easily due the loads of thoughts and ideas in my mind.

I'm not exactly who i thought i were, but i guess I'm fine.

I try my hardest to find reasons to accept myself and i end up giving up with none.

Why should i accept myself?

I haven't been doing anything i wished to do.

I'm not as good as i thought i were.

I mistreated and hurt people who didn't deserve that.

I haven't made anyone proud of me.

I accomplished nothing.

Its really strange. Upsetting in a way.

I do want to change but I'm not welling to.. 

Self, what is wrong with you?

Why must you act so cold and blue?

Why can't you just go back to your old self? 

The good, truly happy person you were?

Fancy changing for the sake of living better?

Please do keep that in mind.

I will be waiting.

I won't rush things.

Take your time.

But please do.

A letter to my dear self..

Dear self,

You may not be the best in everything, or the most good looking, but dear, trust me; you're something rare.

One with such a genuine pure heart shouldn't be feeling the way you do.

Its just another day. You may or may not have one again.. How does that make you feel?

Mature, understanding, oddly amazing, pure and honest. And you still claim that you're not perfect?

Sometimes, its not about the best looking skin or nose. Sometimes its the features within. 

I know that you don't like crossing your limits yet you like change. As you often would say, "change is good. Hell, change is really good". 

I know that you try your hardest to cheer yourself up when you're sad.

I know that you hate being around people who don't really think.

I know things you may not even know about yourself.

You're not someone I'm ready to lose anytime soon so please, do let me know when i make a mistake. Don't just back off. disappear. pretend i don't exist.

I said what i have to, though i will be back. 

May you be stronger than yesterday.

May you keep your insanity at bay.

Dear self, you're loved.